I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
