I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
