I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize
