is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
vagina is talking i cant
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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