they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
