I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
