just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
