You're completely useless in the revolution.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
