Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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