HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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