Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
