i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
