I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
