hotel room ftw
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
