You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
