I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I didn't notice because vodka
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
