You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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