whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
