ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize