I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
