So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
