i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize