the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
