Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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