Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
A+ Viking dick
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
