So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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