I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
