I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I had to cum in my sink.
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