is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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