i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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