Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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