I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
