I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
