I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize