I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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