And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Are we still banned from the library?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
