Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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