okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
