He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
