I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Just fell off a train. Bad.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
