Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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