so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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