Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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