i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize