if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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