I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
