Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
