Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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