At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
