And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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