Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
