I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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