they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Randomize
