Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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