I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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