I cockslap morals
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
