get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
