My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
