It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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