you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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