bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
