I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
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