Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize