You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
