also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
