Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
