On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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