I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize