Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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