i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
